{"id":16444,"date":"2025-07-11T14:39:34","date_gmt":"2025-07-11T04:39:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/?p=16444"},"modified":"2025-07-11T17:07:17","modified_gmt":"2025-07-11T07:07:17","slug":"self-compassion-is-the-foundation-for-lasting-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/self-compassion-is-the-foundation-for-lasting-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-Compassion is the Foundation for Lasting Change"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"16444\" class=\"elementor elementor-16444\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4e76237 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4e76237\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-449ec7a\" data-id=\"449ec7a\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d334cf5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"d334cf5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-192d1c4 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"192d1c4\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-4ad7b93\" data-id=\"4ad7b93\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-29545d5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"29545d5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"color: #008080;\"><strong><em>&#8220;Self-compassion is not weakness. It&#8217;s the foundation for change that lasts.&#8221;<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p>This quote often stops people in their tracks because it challenges a core belief many of us have been conditioned to hold; that we have to be <em>hard on ourselves<\/em> to succeed, to improve, or to be worthy of love and acceptance.<\/p><p>But in my practice as a holistic counsellor, coach, hypnotherapist and somatic practitioner, I\u2019ve seen the opposite to be true time and time again.<\/p><p>Too often self-compassion is mistaken for self-indulgence, laziness, or a way to &#8220;let ourselves off the hook&#8221;. This couldn\u2019t be further from the truth.<\/p><p>Self-compassion is <strong>the courageous act of showing up for yourself<\/strong> especially in moments of pain, failure, or uncertainty. It&#8217;s how we hold space for healing, and it&#8217;s how we begin to regulate our inner world enough to make consistent, aligned choices.<\/p><p>From a holistic lens, self-compassion isn\u2019t just a mental or emotional concept. It\u2019s an <em>embodied<\/em> way of being that touches every part of your life: mind, body, emotions, behaviour, and spirit.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h6><strong>Self-Criticism Doesn\u2019t Work<\/strong><\/h6><p>Let\u2019s be clear: temporary motivation through guilt or shame <em>can<\/em> work but only short-term. It&#8217;s like trying to get your veggies to grow by yelling at the soil (I actually speak to mine with excitement and gratitude for the nourishment they will provide \ud83d\ude09 ).<\/p><p><strong>Here\u2019s what happens when self-criticism leads:<\/strong><\/p><ul><li>The nervous system stays in fight-flight, or (functional) freeze.<\/li><li>We become hypervigilant, exhausted, and disconnected from joy.<\/li><li>Motivation becomes fear-based and inconsistent.<\/li><li>The body holds tension, and we lose the ability to rest or trust ourselves.<\/li><\/ul><p>Eventually, we burn out or self-sabotage. Not because we\u2019re weak but because <strong>no one thrives under chronic self-attack<\/strong>.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h6><strong>Science and Somatics of Self-Compassion<\/strong><\/h6><p>Research by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion studies, shows that people who practice self-compassion are <em>more<\/em> likely to take responsibility for their mistakes, <em>more<\/em> likely to pursue long-term goals, and <em>less<\/em> likely to experience anxiety and depression.<\/p><p><strong>From a somatic perspective, self-compassion is a nervous system regulator.<\/strong><\/p><p>When we practice it:<\/p><ul><li>The vagus nerve activates, promoting calm and connection.<\/li><li>Our breath deepens and our muscles soften.<\/li><li>We gain access to the prefrontal cortex, which is our centre for decision-making, empathy and wisdom.<\/li><\/ul><p><strong>Self-compassion makes us <em>more<\/em> resilient, not less.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8de9134 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"8de9134\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"742\" height=\"478\" src=\"https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/Chnage-your-Mind-brain.png\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-2201\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/Chnage-your-Mind-brain.png 742w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/Chnage-your-Mind-brain-600x387.png 600w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/Chnage-your-Mind-brain-300x193.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1cbb8aa elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"1cbb8aa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h6><strong>A Holistic + Somatic Approach<\/strong><\/h6><p>Here\u2019s are four simple actions you can start choosing to incorporate into your day:<\/p><ol><li><h6><em> Pause and Notice<\/em><\/h6><\/li><\/ol><p>Use mindfulness to check in with yourself without judgment. Ask:<\/p><ul><li>What am I feeling right now\u2014physically and emotionally?<\/li><li>Where do I feel tension or discomfort in my body?<\/li><\/ul><p>Tip: Try a simple body scan. Sit quietly and bring awareness to your feet, legs, belly, chest, shoulders, jaw. Just <em>notice<\/em> what\u2019s there.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><ol start=\"2\"><li><h6><em> Soften the Inner Voice<\/em><\/h6><\/li><\/ol><p>If you catch yourself being harsh or critical, gently interrupt it. Ask:<\/p><ul><li>\u201cWhat would I say to a friend in this moment?\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cCan I bring in a tone of warmth, even if I\u2019m struggling?\u201d<\/li><\/ul><p><strong>Somatic practice:<\/strong> Place a hand over your heart or your belly. Feel the warmth. This touch communicates safety to your nervous system.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><ol start=\"3\"><li><h6><em> Anchor with the Breath<\/em><\/h6><\/li><\/ol><p>Deep, intentional breathing helps ground your awareness in the present and sends a signal of safety into and through your body.<\/p><p>Try this: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat a few times until you feel a subtle shift.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><ol start=\"4\"><li><h6><em> Small Acts of Self-Respect<\/em><\/h6><\/li><\/ol><p>Self-compassion isn&#8217;t just a feeling, it&#8217;s a behaviour. How you show up every day and care for yourself. Show yourself respect through daily choices. Here are some examples:<\/p><ul><li>Nourish your body and brain with real, whole food.<\/li><li>Honour your low energy with moments of rest.<\/li><li>Set healthy boundaries with people around you.<\/li><li>Speak your truth kindly and don\u2019t betray yourself by not being truthful with others.<\/li><\/ul><p>These micro-practices build internal trust.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-62f7b6d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"62f7b6d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h6><strong>KEY TAKEAWAY: Sustainable change begins in safety.<\/strong><\/h6><ul><li>You don\u2019t need to be \u201cperfect\u201d to grow.<\/li><li>You don\u2019t need to fix everything before you\u2019re worthy of love.<\/li><li>You don\u2019t need to hustle yourself into wholeness.<\/li><\/ul><p>You just need to start from <strong>where you are<\/strong>, with kindness.<\/p><p><strong>That\u2019s the foundation of sustainable transformation<\/strong> because when you feel safe within yourself, you no longer seek to change or conform yourself to be lovable in the eyes of others.<\/p><p>You change <em>because<\/em> you love yourself.<\/p><p>If you\u2019re tired of the cycle of striving, crashing, and starting over consider this:<\/p><p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\">\u2728 <em>What might become possible if you led your life with compassion instead of criticism?<\/em><br \/>\u2728 <em>What if your inner world became a place of refuge, not resistance?<\/em><\/p><p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">The answers don\u2019t come all at once.<\/span> But they begin in stillness and regulation. They come when we\u2019re feeling calm and centred; in the quiet moments when we feel most connected to the wisdom of our authentic self.<\/p><p>They reveal themselves via self-compassion.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><strong><em>PS. If this is something you are acutely aware of needing to overcome, check out our courses &#8211; particularly the <a href=\"https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/emotional-processing-nervous-system-regulation-certification\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Emotional Processing &amp; Nervous System Regulation certification<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7139b5a7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7139b5a7\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-25 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-a01400a\" data-id=\"a01400a\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1d4f48eb elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"1d4f48eb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"819\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-819x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-715\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-819x1024.jpg 819w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-scaled-600x750.jpg 600w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-768x960.jpg 768w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-1229x1536.jpg 1229w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-1639x2048.jpg 1639w, https:\/\/mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/MBFI-Director-V-scaled.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 819px) 100vw, 819px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-25 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-39f70620\" data-id=\"39f70620\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2b808679 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"2b808679\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-183bae9f elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"183bae9f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Author:\n<br>Viki Thondley<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-54316641\" data-id=\"54316641\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-665ca79d elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"665ca79d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7886ddd elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7886ddd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Viki Thondley-Moore is an Integrative Holistic Counsellor, Neuro-Somatic Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Mind-Body Practitioner, Wellness &amp; Nutrition Coach, Meditation Teacher, Nervous System Educator and Disordered Eating Specialist. Viki is Founder\/Director of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindbodyfoodinstitute.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">MindBodyFood Institute.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Self-compassion is not weakness. It&#8217;s the foundation for change that lasts.&#8221; This quote often stops people in their tracks because [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3811,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_surecart_dashboard_logo_width":"180px","_surecart_dashboard_show_logo":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_orders":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_invoices":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_subscriptions":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_downloads":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_billing":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_account":true,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,25,12,16,13],"tags":[164,936,260,177,1693,1694],"class_list":["post-16444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-holistic-health","category-mind-body-healing","category-mindbody-medicine","category-personal-growth","category-self-healing","tag-holistic-life-coaching","tag-nervous-system-regulation","tag-personal-growth","tag-self-care","tag-self-compassion","tag-somatic-healing"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Self-Compassion is the Foundation for Lasting Change - The MindBodyFood Institute<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Too often self-compassion is mistaken for self-indulgence, laziness, or a way to &quot;let ourselves off the hook&quot;. 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